Saturday
Hello! I must say that I’m not quite sure about my feelings today. I feel like I should feel that I’m happy and content and excited, which I suppose I am, but I also feel a bit strange. Tomorrow my family will be driving to the airport to pick up our Brazilian exchange student: B—-. I’ve been looking forward to our meeting and her staying with us for two weeks for a long time, but with everything that I have going on right now in my life, I’m starting only now to feel a bit nervous.
Don’t get me wrong, we’ve been communicating through Facebook and she seems like a wonderful person, but I’m just scared that she won’t like us of that it won’t be everything that I’ve built it up to be in my head. What if I am never talking to her because I have to write my book report for English class or write my reference book for geometry? What if she and I have nothing in common and she doesn’t want to talk to me? I know deep down that everything is going to be fine, but I can’t help but wonder and worry.
My friend S—- is also going to be hosting an exchange student, which does put my nerves at ease. She’s done it before too, which is comforting in that she knows what’s going on and can help me out. I guess I’m most scared, though, about the fact that I don’t feel the excitement that I did a few months or even a few weeks ago. I just don’t feel the same energy when I think about having another sister for two weeks. I don’t know why this is, and I suspect (and hope) that tomorrow when we’re at the airport it’ll be back, but I’m still worried.
I have a lot going on as well. I want to do well on all of my school projects, and be able to continue writing my novel, and start working out more, and practice my songs for drama club, and make this an amazing experience for B—-, but how am I supposed to do all of that and keep myself from going crazy? I have been feeling pretty good mentally lately, but in these next few weeks I will be pushing my brain and sanity to the limit. I can’t blame it on anybody, either. I won’t let myself be cynical towards B—- just because I’m being petty about all the things that I want to do, nor would I ever want to, but I don’t know if I can stop myself from being cynical towards other people and parts of my life.
I will try, though. I will also try to write another post at the end of this week with an update on B—-‘s stay and how everything else is working. Maybe I’ll be able to do all of the things that I hope to in the next couple weeks, or maybe I’ll just have to adjust my schedule and cut down on personal chores. After writing this post I feel better about the visit, though, and I’ll do my best at making this the great experience for both my family and B—- that I know we all hope it will be. Wish me luck!
Have a good day. 🙂
-Allie
DiscoveringAllie 